Gray Drizzly Dawn (Cowells)

I figured Cowells would be decent on the low tide early this morning. Trouble is, a whole lot of other people figured the same thing. When I drove past in the dim pre-dawn light, I could already see a small clot of surfers in the water. By the time I'd suited up and paddled out, they numbered two dozen, and within half an hour the pack had swollen to more than 40. Why so many folks came out in the chilly misty dawn is a mystery. There were more waves to go around yesterday afternoon at 38th Ave, and it was warm and sunny.

I sat on the inside and took scraps discarded by the crowd, mostly rights with a few lefts, a lot of them gutless waves that couldn't hold up to the beach. I partook of one better party wave with five others, riding in sync behind the rightmost surfer, and congratulated the guy next to me when he managed to stay up on it longer than the rest of us (and just a bit farther than me).

Surfline: Knee to waist high, poor to fair conditions. Mostly clean, workable little lines for the small wave gear. SSW-S (180-200) swell fades through the day as some small NW windswell energy mixes in. Better breaks are good for knee-waist-chest high surf, as top exposures are in the shoulder-head high+ zone, with some occasional sets running slightly overhead. Conditions are mostly clean with light winds early and a low incoming tide. Buoy 46012:  (Wave) SWELL: 4.6 ft at 14.8 s S / WIND WAVE: 8.5 ft at 9.1 s NW / WVHT: 9.5 ft / APD: 6.7 s / MWD: 320° / (Met) WSPD: 19 kts / GST: 23 kts / WDIR: 310.0° / ATMP: 56.1° F / WTMP: 56.8° F.

Bright Sunshiny Day (38th Ave)

Crowded and sectiony but I got some fun ones. Plus it was so warm that I left my gloves on the beach.

And now to sleep, perchance to dream of waves, and to be ready for dawn patrol!

Pleasure at Pleasure Point

Surfline: SSW-S swell slowly starts to eases this afternoon as small NW windswell mix continues. Most breaks stay down in the knee-waist high+ zone for the most part, as top exposures are in the shoulder-head high+ zone. Building Westerly winds are putting some slight bump/texture to the surface as the tide drops. Buoy 46012 (now more chatty!): (Wave) SWELL: 3.9 ft at 14.8 s S / WIND WAVE: 3.3 ft at 7.1 s WNW / WVHT: 5.2 ft / APD: 6.3 s / MWD: 188° / (Met) WSPD: 17 kts / GST: 19 kts / WDIR: 310.0° / WTMP: 58.1° F.

On Fear

I envy my buddies who have never had a serious surfing injury and can charge waves fearlessly. For me, fear is an unwanted and constant companion that holds me back.

On a Sunday in July four years ago, I went over the falls at Linda Mar on a wave that was around shoulder high, sucked forward and down with the breaking lip as it closed out hard. I pushed my funshape board out of the way so as not to land on it, and hit the water head first. The lip still had my feet, and continued to push them forward while my head was stalled in the water at the bottom of the wave.This forced me into a deep back-bend, a hyper-extension beyond my physical limits, which compressed a disc in my lumbar spine between two vertebrae. The pain was intense, and I could barely drag myself back onto my surfboard and paddle in to the beach. Once there, I found I was unable to stand upright while I tried to get the attention of my surf buddy, who had unfortunately left her keys in my car. Sitting for the drive home was also difficult, and I suffered through the night until a chiropractor's office opened Monday morning.

The excellent Dr. Alex Callister got me standing up straight again, but for weeks I could not sit in a chair and spent considerable time with ice on my lower back, sprawled face down across an ottoman in the only position that offered some relief from the pain. I used up my limited new-employee sick time and started burning vacation until, with frequent chiropractic appointments, I progressed to sitting atop an exercise ball for short periods.

Then followed physical therapy, visits to physiatrists, an MRI, more chiropractors, more doctors, more tests, more physical therapy, until it seems I exhausted the limits of what medicine can do and resigned myself to living with disability. For three years, I have been unable to sit comfortably in a chair without good back support, and even then must frequently squirm to relieve the discomfort. Lost forever are the days when I could flop down on a sofa or sprawl in a beanbag chair. As I cannot bend low for more than a few minutes, my husband is permanently delegated tasks such as weeding and scrubbing stubborn stains off the kitchen floor. I need to swim at least a couple times a week to relieve the ache. I can't sit in a kayak so I bought a SUP to keep paddling, and switched to a comfort bike since I can't lean over the low handlebars on a regular one. On the bright side, Dr. Callister accomplished the goal I set for him when I first shuffled through his door: he got me surfing again in about six weeks, and the after-effects of the injury now rarely affect a session.

I've learned that I need to protect my back by supporting it with my core muscles, and now have abs of steel, or at least aluminum. I also have fear. Every time my mind directs me to move off of the shoulder and closer to the peak, or to go for a larger wave or one that could break on me as I catch it, or even to paddle out on a bigger day, there's the wordless scream of fear telling me not to go. Would I have paddled into that overhead wave two months ago if I'd known it would rise up into a 7-foot face as I took the drop? I doubt it; I likely would have quickly paddled in the opposite direction to get out of its way. Whether I think about it consciously or not, the fear of being hurt again is always with me, holding me back. If it was completely irrational, it would be easy to dismiss it, but that's not the case. My dysfunctional and uncomfortable lower back reminds me constantly every day of the power of the ocean and the consequence of a mistake.

And so I watch my unscathed, charging friends with envy. I hope to one day conquer this fear, but it is a hard road.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
- Litany Against Fear from Dune

Stoked Giggles (38th Ave)

What a difference a day makes. On Saturday the south swell filled in, lighting up the Jetty with head-high+ waves and giving Luke his 3rd barrel (woot!), with the swell holding into today. While I'd love some more overhead waves, I'm not keen to seek out the big pitching ones. So I drove to Santa Cruz in the pre-dawn darkness to find gentler waves before the crowd and tide rose, and it was well worth getting up at 4 am.

There were only a handful of cars in the parking lot when I arrived, and a similar number of surfers in the lineup when I paddled out. I got one nice long right before the pack grew too thick, then moved to the inside left edge of the lineup in front of Jack O'Neill's house to pick off the mostly unwanted lefts. Surfline called it wrong again (at least they're consistent); the waves were shoulder- to head-high on the sets. The left was working very well and I rode a lot of good waves nearly to the beach, working through reforms and playing on the face. At the end of one ride, my stoked smile escalated into giggles, I was having so much fun! I got a couple waves that were at least head high, carving down the drop and back up onto the face, with another surfer hooting in appreciation. When I paddled back to the lineup, he congratulated me on a great ride. I don't think a stranger's ever sincerely complimented me like that before. Maybe I'm getting a little good at this surfing thing after all.

Surfline: Inconsistent ankle to waist high, clean, glassy lines looking fun for the bigger boards. New SSW (180-200) groundswell peaks as old SW (200-220) energy fades. Average areas go waist-shoulder-head high, while the better spots see inconsistent overhead sets. Clean conditions early thanks to light wind. Expect the building tide to eventually swamp things out later this morning. Buoy 46012: SSW 4.3 ft @ 16 sec.

Summer? What Summer? (HMB Jetty)

When I reached the beach it was barely dawn, 53 degrees and drizzling under gray skies. Summer's nearly over, and it seems like we're still waiting for it. This has been one of the coolest summers ever, or so it seems, and the south groundswells have been as scarce as the warm sunshine. But there was a little south swell in the water, underneath a NW windswell, giving some hope for the Jetty after a pretty flat week. It didn't look like much from the road, but neither Darren nor I had time before work to drive around on a wave quest, so we paddled out anyway. The water too was colder than it should be in August.

Darren got the wave of the day as soon as he got in position - it was more than waist-high! I pulled off my requisite three decent rides, plus a few rather fun wipeouts from getting too close to the lip of a closeout wave on (attempted) takeoff. Luke and John turned up after a bit, and then it was just the four of us sharing the break. Manabu stopped by to video his surf report just as I rode my last left in. The bottoms of my feet were icy clods. I shivered as I changed, and cranked up the seat heater in the MINI as soon as I started driving - aahhh.

The waves may have been small and inconsistent, but there's no better way to start the day than a surf with just my buddies.

And now for a shark joke, courtesy of Luke:

A boat capsizes in the ocean and sinks. The survivors are floating around on the surface when two great white sharks spot them, a daddy great white and his son. The daddy says to his son, "Let's circle around them a few times with just one fin out of the water," and they do. Then the daddy great white says to his son "Good job! Now let's do it again, this time with all our fins showing," and they do. Then the daddy great white shark says "Good job son! Now let's go feast," and they do. After they have gorged themselves, the son asks, "Daddy, how come we circled them so many times instead of just going at them right away?" The daddy great white answers, "Because they taste better without the shit in them."

Surfline: Mix of holding SW groundswell, some minor NW windswell, and slow building long-period forerunners of a new SSW groundswell. Good SW exposed breaks offered 2-3' occasional 4' surf. Beachbreaks exposed to the SW/NW combo are peaky. Buoy 46012: NW 4.3 ft @ 7.7 sec.

Sharks Are Everywhere

The number of great white sharks off of the California coast is on the rise. I'm sure you've seen this viral video by now.

If you do encounter the Landlord, here's how to punch a shark. Or you might just try singing the Shark Song.

Or you could be like this dude in Florida, and just don't believe in sharks!